Coming out: A survival guide for young people

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Figuring out your sexual orientation and/or gender identity is a life-long journey. If you feel you may be a part of the LGBTQ+ community here are some things to bear in mind when it comes to coming out. 

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1. You don’t have to come out 

You might feel a lot of pressure to come out, you might feel it’s something you have to do. But remember there is only one person you have to come out to, you. If you feel unsure or not ready then that’s absolutely fine! You must go on this journey at your own pace.

2. Find your person

If you decide now is the time to come out, have a think about who you might want to tell first. This person can be a friend, a family member, a teacher, or whoever you feel comfortable talking to. If you know someone is already out they might be a good person to talk to. 

3. Find your people

If you don’t feel like you have a person you can confide in, you can always find your ‘people’. There are plenty of online communities, support groups, and even instagram accounts and facebook pages, where you can find people who share your identity. Just remember to always keep yourself safe online.

4. Write it out

If you decide now is the time to come out, have a think about some of the following questions

  • What do you want the person to know? 

  • Do you want them to keep it between the two of you, or can they tell others?

  • Is there new language you want the person to use when referring to you, like a new name or pronouns? 

  • What type of response are you hoping to get? 

Writing these out may help you feel less nervous, and you can bring your writing with you so if you get flustered you can refer to it. 

5. Remember, a bad reaction is not a reflection of you! 

Unfortunately, not everyone is accepting of others and the person you come out to may have a bad reaction. That is their issue, not yours. Remember, there are support phone lines that you can call if this happens, you are not alone. 

6. When telling others, make sure you have support ready

If you decide to tell more people, be sure that the people who already know are on standby as support. 

7. Your identity may change with time, and that’s ok! 

You may come out and later find your identity has evolved, or a new word better describes your experience. That’s normal! Identity is fluid and there’s nothing wrong with changing with time. 

8. Be Proud 

Whether you’re out to everyone you know or just yourself; be proud of who you are.